No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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