I think I am morally bankrupt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
