He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
