I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
