Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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