she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
