Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
