you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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