addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
