i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize