You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
