while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
