If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
