So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
