They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
