week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize