Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
