why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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