I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
