farters have to be the big spoon...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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