I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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