OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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