I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
