youre lurking in front of me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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