come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
