Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
It was confusing and full of hummus
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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