dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
