I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
