I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
