she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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