So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize