we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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