you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
