just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
