I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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