were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
