I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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