i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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