I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
