Sponge bath it is.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
