its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
