a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
