she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
