I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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