I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
