is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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