I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
