I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
