yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
