Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
