There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
