he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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