Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
