I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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