I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
