I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
