I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
