What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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