college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Boobs are out for the taking
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
