dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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